episode 35 - long term waiting....

hey.....long tyme havent update my bloggie...haha...kk here's it goes....during e month of ramadhan...i have to much sufferin of disease called overeact depression...haiz...its juz because of one simple rejection i cant take...haiz...wad happen 2 me...now.....den one gerl appear infront of me saes dat she loves me...it kinda makes me feel okae readi....i will fulfill my journey with her...i will try 2 keep her in touch...i will try 2 keep her till my NS life has over....i will keep her till our last breath has gone.....tears may fall....escaped the fate....broken promises...n i will goin 2 end my old life of mine...n im changin it 2 my new self....fer wishes may come true i will pray fer u my mighty god of mine.....

till den....i hope 2 b wif her.....

episode 34 - acception by u is needed 2 let it go...

i been gettin fed up by everi person dat i now...haiz.....i need nt 2 wait fer u animore...let me die in peace or search fer another one....juz b usual lyke we did b4....it feels more comfortable....i nd 2 accept ur choices u made...i cant force u either....i made my probs...n no one will interfere xcept me...

i cant go further animore....i cn push my self 2 another limitations....i nd 2 b independent....being old is 2 fast fer me sey...haiz.....kinda funny though...i hope another cn accept me fer whom i am....

im kinda feeling sleepy ryte now...haa.....kk...wanna go sleep....
wish me luck kaes.....?
ilyas fading is juz lyke by snappin fingers.....

episode 33 - waiting and patience takes place in me....

hey2....hahakz....onli 1 dae nvr update my bloggie...haha....kaes...nothing much happen....Dayah...i nd 2 accept ur choices....i cnt force u animore....i juz nd 2 b lonely and overcome my depression....haiz....no nd 2 worry fren...i am used 2 b in diz wae....nothing better 2 do....haha....

den i am awake frm 11 pm....bcoz my cuzzies wan 2 watch horror movies....haiz...i hate horror films....nothing better 2 watch izit??? now onli 7.15 am....haha...lame siot....haha...no one onlines everi morn do they...?haha...i am e onli one hu is better den u all...wahahaha....i am tryin 2 find a new one instead...hmm....mayB i am waiting fer u gerl...haha...i am wan 2 wait long2 cn...i don care....i will wait fer u...even it takes me more den 20 yrs....bcoz...e last tyme u waited fer me....at last u gt it...now its my turn 2 do e same thing lyke u did....

k dats all fer e post....byes....n GD MORNIN, AFTERNOON and EVENING!...hahakz.....
ilyas will alwaes wait fer u....

episode 32 - fastin month goin 2 end n everitink bck 2 normal...

hey...its been 19 daes we have been fastin...i think....haha....diz yr i cn get full fastin...haha...yay!gd 2 hear dat everithing bck 2 normal, my ex bck 2 herself...e laughaholics side of her n still loving him as alwaes....my fren here....still stressin abt her EOY....hopefully she cn do e paper...smiles....my adek angkat seems 2 enjoying herself n nt studying....ish3....better study hard ehk adeq...haha...met new frens at frenster...new hopes n same old dreams...

i prefer hatred in myself...n lyke 2 stab by my ownself...n so dat ppl wont think abt dat much....i prefer leave dem alone n bck 2 myself n my lonely innerself n getting readi 2 b killed....its nonsense though...i donnoe y ppl keep goin away lyke dey nt usually do....???bt hey im fergot 2 wake up fer morning breakfast sey...haiz....at least i cn still fast...n cant wait 2 break it...haha...dae by dae....im feelin sick...feelin bored...no feelings at all...tyme goes by slowly...no ambitions...no hopes....n ferget abt my dreams...it will nvr b coming true...fer which most...i will wait till e tyme comes....n i don care....u waited fer me long enough...its my turn 2 b lyke u....yes u......

ilyas....fading off with tears n unhappiness....