episode 124 - online shopping.

hey friends,

went east coast yesterday.

quite bored actually with the rain at first then all out at night uh.

then after that became audience for a moment to see them skate and all.

then went back to yishun by bus,

eat and eat. hahah.

then by using jalil's lappy, and he intro me some sites for me to check out stuff that i wanted to buy in singapore,

and he said to me online are much more cheaper than singapore's price.

soo, i go check them out uh.

its really true and went all the online shopping. hahah.

set all my stuff to buy and it is below my budget,

so why not buy it right? hahah.

cant wait for my pay. hahaha.

then check this and that,

by the time i got it,

ready set go. hahaha.

okay till then,

i'll update you.

episode 123 - the fucking truth.

hey peeps.
guess what?
i just my fucking lost term truth.

this is the conversation after all that bullshit stuff on school and till this is what happen.

ilyas : since the day i broke up with you, i cant move on.

tazzy : no it's not you that who ask for break up, its me.

ilyas : i thought it was me i ask for a break up.

tazzy : i ask for it, do you remember what i told you that time?

ilyas : what is it? i dont remember quite well. i got short-term memory loss.

tazzy : kan i cakap yang i nak concentrate on my studies? remember?

ilyas : then if you said you want to concentrate on your studies, why you still have another boyfriend instead of me? i know i've done alot of mistakes and all, why dont you give a chance to love you back like we used to?

tazzy : i've given alot of chances to you already, you just dont prove to me at all.

ilyas : i gave you more chances than you gave me, i sanggup buat pape untuk you and yet this is one i've given? why wont you at least give me time for me to prove you that i still love you? why? tell me why?

tazzy : *speechless

ilyas : WHY?~

tazzy : we werent fated to each other ilyas.

ilyas : if you believe in that, i'll make the fate change. i'll escape that fate. i'll sanggup change
what is done and start from scratch from what i've done to you. please, why wont you give me another chance like what i did to you when you cried begging for my love? why?
why didnt you at least give a chance?

tazzy : past is past.

ilyas : *piss off face. anything just text me.

tazzy : okay.

what do you think in this situation? isnt she unfair? or am i unfair? tell your opinion and tag in my cbox. thanks.

episode 122 - outing on the 18 december '09

hey bloggers out there.
i went this outing after work.

and this is my 1st time went outing with my NS friends.
soo, went out and enjoy myself.
lucky my friend is treating me. soo, why not.
then when the meeting time occurs,
i found out that im only one who is malay.
i feel awkward and i watched this chinese movie. lucky got english subtitles.
hahah. but the movie is great to watch but too much special effect.

then we went to this pub after the movie.
the pub called Beaver.
its great to hang out if you're with your friends.
hahah.

then we drank chivas regal 12years old.
its nothing to me.
cause its whiskey!
hahaha.

then after went skating to AMK.
tired sia after that. then went back to yishun. hahaha.
then more tired.
then got home.
i slept the whole 2days till today.
hahaha.

soo yeah till then i'll update again.

episode 121 - new wheels, new foes.

i really hate what syafiq done to me.
he really wanna make me die on the road.
seriously.
like he's one guy which is TOTAL FUCKED UP!

then got this one time, i kicked his board like one piece of wood which is total useless board to use.
he's got no mind at all. seriously.
he go stop infront of me and somemore dont want to recover what he's fallen into.
and didnt even have to say sorry to me.
WTF?!
who do you think he is.
then he said he's not satisfy with me. what the hell is he thinking?
then he said he wanna burn my tires?
guess what?!
i told him to burn my tires and just burn all my wasted fucking $65.

bodoh nya ORIX!
i really hate him sia.
useless piece of shit homosapien.
no mind at all.
fucking one asshole.
takda duit minta orang nya rokok je.
PASAL KAU DUIT AKU HABIS KAU TAU TAK?!
PASAL KAU, KAU HABISKAN ROKOK AKU KAU TAU TAK?!
DA HABIS KAN WINNER AKU, WINSTON AKU!

APA LAGI AKU BOLEH TOLONG KAU?!
APA LAGI KAU NAK MERANA KAN AKU!
BODOH PE KAU?!
TAK ERTI NAMA ORANG IKHLAS PE?!

episode 120 - hurray for me. :)

hello everybody.
just looking forward eating addah's cupcakes and all.
hahah.

well, its a new start for me yesterday evening.
the date i started back on feet is 101209.
i hope this date will fall till i dont know where to stop.
hahah.

till then i update again.
see ya.

episode 119 - hungry

well, just now went to see addah's blog.
and i found out that she is selling cupcakes and puffs.
orang tengah lapar alehaleh ter-pergi sana.
pfft.

well, im finding for food later what,
soo, doesnt even bother me.
BUT!
my stomach is grumbling like one hardcore band is doing a concert inside already.
better need to do something about it.

till then i'll update.

episode 118 - i do have a choice.

well,
im will be sick this month.
and i hate it so much.
pfft.
i deleted my ex at facebook,
and there will be more i will be deleting.

i will delete each and every detail.
i dont want to recall each and everytime.
i will feel hurt each and everytime i see her face.
FUCK!

sigh.
where can i have a perfect one girlfriend?
that has the same age as me?
must wait i see.

till then i wait.

episode 117 - blank.

okay,
i think like no one reading my blog already.
well, i think its time for me to stop telling my stupid stories and feelings already.
it is already no use for me to tell while no one is reading.

i really miss the old times and i don't want to end like that.
really.
why there's a end in that way.

how i wish that person,
could ever return to me.
and i will promise that i will take care of her.

i think that promise will be going to the new person.
i also dont know who.
just let me see it now.
i really wanna see who really loves me alot.

till then,
will always be sick of love.

episode 116 - through struggle

in life,
yes i know that i must struggle eventhough it takes me such a harsh to get through it.
to be fact,
yesterday, one of my friends asked me about this girl that i once loved before,
then at first i was kinda speechless for awhile,
but then,
i spoke to her that nahh, its useless to wait for her though.
so what if no one likes me nor loves me.
i still have myself standing.

but till when?

episode 115 - memories.

i miss the times when im with you,
since you've move on already,
its hard to replace your love.
seriously,
it'll take time for me to move on.

i want to find a girl like you is difficult.
i just dont know why.
sigh.
too much to think.

its better that i keep quiet and never do anything and just let it come to me.
i think that will be much more better.
i cant win bella's heart already.
its really hard. and it is challenging.
to win someone's heart, is really you need the techniques.
i think my techniques are common already.
just being me and only me.
thats it.

episode 114 - eyes tells it all.

your eyes is the sweetest things that i see.
my heart tells me to go for you.
but i insisted to do so.

what i can say is,
there's nothing to hide anymore.
i cant show my feelings towards her except accepting for being friends only.
why cant you give me one chance to prove that im better than no one else you met.
i know that i can give you happiness and all,
i can be your everything except for one thing,
i dont know what that one thing is,
but i know there's a story why i expressing it out right to this post.
i really am prepared for your love.
all i want is a healthy long term relationship with you.

but there's another twist,
who is that you?
that's for me to find it out.
all is fate to bring and a little bit of faith.

to all, forgive my mistakes.

episode 113 - nothing to say to you since we met.

since the first day,
i didnt talk to you cause your eyes were so beautiful to look at,
your voice is sweetest that i heard then i ever hear.

things recall each and everytime i look at you.
my eyes cant resist looking at you each and everytime.
i just cant dont know why.
when i told you that i loved you,
i think it is too early to say.

i think it is the wrong time for me to confess.
maybe its not my day to win your heart that time.
and i hope to win it some other day.
im really sorry to confess too early.
i really am.
im soo sooo sorry.

episode 112 - wrong move at wrong time, ilyas.

today, im having a total bad day.
then i broke down, and keep myself quiet.
i just cant stand my supervisor of mine.
just fuck him to hell.

then, my biggest mistake of all,
i admitted to this girl that i loved her,
she scolded me like hell.

life's seriously is unfair.
im confused.
i dont have a proper love since the one that i loved the most left me.
i really very depress about it.
i really love her soo much till i sacrifice alot of things for her.
i dont know who to love.
i scared that i make a wrong choice.

can someone help just give me trust, love and sincerity.
just at least give me one perfect soul to help through this all.
please help me.

episode 111 - the times i wasted alot.

the times that i wasted alot is i started to be 17 years of life.
i really hate my life alot.
due to something or someone.
it really hurts when you know that person you loved the most,
has someone else she loved,
while she doesnt know that she loved the most,
is someone could busted her the most while,
you loved her the most she dont wanna take.

why always that way it turned out.
why that person is soo stupid to fall the one she loved the most,
is someone could make her feel bad and heart-broken again.
sometimes these people dont think what they do,
while some people can think straight and doesnt regret in his or her life.

if you get what i mean,
then you must know how i feel towards you.
i really love you and truly want to keep till my last breath.
if really i can do that,
you'll never regret what you take in life.

episode 110 - East Coast Outing.

On my East Coast outing,
it started well but went the time has come to fucked up,
it is really there.
For me and my buddy, Afif, the night wasnt the night we expected for,
my long gone loved one not like interested in me anymore,
Afif's going-to-be girlfriend was there and guess what,
He found that his best brother just backstab him and take the girl away in one sight.
I find it very awful to see what's happening to him,
for his behavior, it is has the same of what i did last year.

Full of miseries, pain, depression and regret-tion,
Life must goes on,
what can we do anyways,
this is Allah's test,
we can survive either way to succeed in life.
life can be unfair and fair at the same time,
with Positive thinking,
we'll succeed in life no matter what happens.
this time of period i think its better for me to have a girlfriend.
i think the duration is not period i guess,
i think its forever i wont have a gf,
i will wait the one whom i loved the most,
and be with her then i'll be happy throughout,
even though it takes me for years.

episode 109 - there's always a room for a change

in this world,
there's always one and only one that never replace the one you really love.
when this someone happens to melt your heart,
try not to let it go or go to waste,
you will regret and ends as a hopeless person and stressful.
and will always be thinking what you've done.

this feelings you actually feeling is,
you think it is really it,
but actually,
it is only the beginning.
you will feel this feelings when you actually with that person for a very long time.

when you be with this lifetime partner,
cherish it and always be happy.
you'll never forget the memories that you will always be with her.

i got a message to this someone whom its worth to wait,
i will never end my love to you till i have my last breath.
i will always wait for you till the very end.
and i will always wait for you even though it skip to my next life.

episode 108 - waiting for confirmation

i'm using my friend's lappy and updating my blog while i can.

not much to tell actually.

later today i got work and luckily not much things to do at work actually.

i think later i will going back and then bath, aand straight to work.

very troublesome you know.

okay about this confirmation thingy,

i think im not sure that i can get a girlfriend,

i think my mojo of getting a girlfriend has lost to someone special i think.

sigh.

why is this happening to me?

why me? why now?

its been a long time since my relationship didnt turn out well.

it lasted for 2 years and yet it didnt turn out that well.

i feel very sad about it.

to be frank, i really miss her alot.

i think she would likely missing her boyfriend instead of me.

my confidence has lost since i broke up with her.

i dont think this girl will accept my request.

i think that should be it.

till then,

i will update you again.

P/S: i really love you no matter what. no person in this world will ever replace your love.

episode 107 - nothing to else to talk.

dear bloggers out there,
nothing to write actually, just my life and bore life,
well, there's alot of nametags to pass around and to send to.

okay about my love story,
it ends like 4 months ago.
life such a bore ever since.
no love, no life partner,
if finding one, confirm kena busted one.
like usual.
just patience and the answer of who i will go with will come.
but there's confirm alot of time left.
go dating with some random persons,
only for once or two.
thats all.

okay for next month,
there will be alot of events coming up.
christmas also will be going on.

okay thats all for tonight.
update ya soon enough.

till then.

episode 106 - since the day we last talk.

well, you kept quiet since the we last talk on the phone.
you didnt even pay me up and just silence.
due to her boyfriend, she kept quiet on me?
just because of that?
never inform then its okay.
i will remember.
i dont care either.
sigh. who am i to you anyways?
do you remember who help you alot?
sacrifices his money just to give you to the prom, bills, and even things for yourself?
and this is what i get in return?
am i like a toy for you to play around?

sigh. nadhirah, nadhirah.
dont tell me what's wrong.
your boyfriend is just over-possessing you.
thats all.

till then,
ilyas.

episode 105 - a new hope, a new beginning.

soo, as for me this few days,
giving me a new chapter of life is different then what i used to do.
no more nothing actually to be in fact. all like blur sotong.
giving me problems each and everytime.
no more waiting, wanting or none of the things that i want it to be.

i'll be inactive for like a few days or so.
see uh how it goes.
till then, good bye.

episode 104 - the experience

hey you there.
last night was experiencing enough already due to my fall.
was quite painful uh.
i got 15 bruises and scratches all over my body. all in my right side. only 2 was on the opposite.
i was at Forum there to hang out for a while then off to holland village.
then there was the god damn big hill.
at first i was scared la, then i got to the top, i bomb-ed down and started cruising here and there.
then when wanna to take video of them, the first one i have, but the second one i failed.
due to my wobble of my board and crashed down with my phone.
too bad, the video that i fell down gone, but the first one still have.

then went off to forum back by skating and then went towards city hall and then went towards bugis. and then we set back and relax and waited for 851.

and then went back, bath and then sleep.
and till then,

sayonara. :)

episode 103 - totally blurr..

hey bloggers out there.
today woke up at 6.30pm i guess.
hahah. long right i know.
i slept yesterday morning around 2am.
my eyes are totally closed since i know that i closed door for my brother.
then, i totally knock out.
then woke up at that time.

then guess what?
my gf asked me for break up.
then i didnt layan her for a quite some time.
then she said that she was admitted to hospital again.
and this time she told me earlier.
soo, later i'll be meeting her.

soo yeah.
till next time.

episode 102 - bored, bored and bored.

yesterday, damn tired. sigh.
wore off my energy till today.
damn tired.

then it was most fucked up day.
sigh.
i waited for my friends till 11.47pm.
just to buy cigarettes and guess what? they didnt tell me that they were
going to play left 2 dead.
thanks uh eh.
waited for nothing.

then i went back from emotionally.
thanks for hurting my feelings alot.
amalkan selalu.

okay that's it.
i dont want to contact to them anymore.
seriously.
not even my gf.

bye.
till then.

episode 101 - i giving it up already. cant take it anymore.

as you can see,
my tagged doesnt have my gf's tagged.
soo, i think she doesnt have feelings for me anymore.
what the hell.
just wasting of time when being with her.
it is rough times now.
everytime it happens to me.
for fuck.
urgh!
i hate it so much sey..
why cant i have the best of both worlds.
what more cant i do that y'all can do much more better than me.
i admit i dont do my job that much as a boyfriend.
what do you wanna expect for me anyways?

i cant do this and that.
sigh.
i wish nadhirah was beside me.
i need a shoulder to cry on.
my family turned down on me.
i cant do anything now.
just be it then.
i dont have a choice.
goodbye everyone.
hope that nadhirah could call me at this time.
NADHIRAH!!!! where are you?!
i need you now.

episode 100 - the century has begun

soo, it will be tiring for the next week schedule.
hahah.
hmm, i dont know what to say anymore.
even festive season also i cant celebrate. only at night. sigh.
but at least got pay right i know.
i dont know when will it be.
to adeq, i miss you. i hope you can meet me on friday.
i wanna hug you alot.

episode 99 - the hundredth is coming already.

hello bloggers out there!
nahh nevermind, while there's 3 linkies that wanna see my blog. haha.
arent i clever?
no spammers, no anonymous, no nicknames.
gerek ke pe.
adek i missing you already.
i wanted to ask you something. but whether to wait for her call is quite tiring.
but at least she called. everytime i hear her voice,
fuhh naik cair.
hahah.
and btw, err, my gf nya messaging is not of what i could understand actually.
seriously. i cant understand a word that she saying.
sigh.

okayokay got to go now.
haha.
sleepy la siols.

nightnight everybody.
i love you guys~
and to adeq - muaks!

episode 98 - damn tiring day ever!

as you can see of what happening today and yesterday is combined into one tiring night.
my life is with her is totally change alot.
she changed alot and much more better than last time i knew her before i go on with her.
and thats not the topic for this post actually. hahah.

the real thing is, i was supposed to be waking up at 9am at my friend's usual meet up,
then i woke up at 12pm instead. haha. long sia.
then went put at around 1pm plus like that. da sampai rumah my friend's aunt,
went painting the house.
since the time when we started at 2pm,
it ended at 7pm. that was long actually. nasib kita habis cepat.
thennnnnnnnnnnn, my friend need me to help him go kallang and help to move things to her real mother's new house.
i thought it was less than i thought,
and when i arrived at there, WALIAOWEI!
banyak ke pe barang nak kena angkat!

then i help and move,
we started at 9pm and ended at 5.16am.
it was long, i know.
when i was helping moving things,
i keep wondering what my gf is doing.
i love her alot.
heheh.

okay thats it. im tired and going to bed already,
see ya,

P/S: i love my gf, but i love my nadhirah alot more than her.
shhh! better dont tell her this. hee :)

episode 97 - things changed all of a sudden

a new chapter begins here.
as i talk to her about her attitude and how she behaves,
she heard of what i am saying to her to change and be more patience,
yes i do love her soo much,
and somethings i just cant accept.
soo yeah.

soo, im having a relationship with her already. 10/09/09 at 8.34pm,
i think that should be the time,
hahah.
moving on, tasha is also moving on eventhough,
soo yeah,
hope for the brightest future ahead.
soo long friends.

episode 96 - straight to your throat

soo, nothing much to say.
but im sharing my deceived story.
after i shared my story, please explain how it feels.

the story goes likes this,
i love this girl soo damn much, even i sacrificed everything even my cigarettes that i smoke.
i cut down so much till it took 1 stick per day and all is just for her.
i sacrifice each every single detail to cherish her, making her laugh,
and she is developing love for me.

at first i thought,
i think that i could really get her.
but think twice ilyas,
as days goes by, that beautiful flower could eat you alive, and guess what?
she started changing her attitude,
she starting to make me feel hatred to her,
i didnt gave up, even though i fought hard with my feelings.
day and night goes by,
i really didnt gave up hope and my dreams just to be with her,
then yesterday, around 2119hrs.
i was playing game at my cousins PSP.
then she told me that i can be with her only on a condition,
1. Must be home before midnight
2. Cigarettes must be at least 1 stick/day.
3. Must be cherish with her day and night and be able to keep her accompany as in make her entertain,

all of that i could do it just for her.
i said okay, i can manage that without any hesitation,
then, she said, why not be friends instead?
i was like so dumb-founded sey,
all of that for nothing,
her "i love you baby" is nothing for me.
none of the meaning is in that category.

and all hope and dreams is gone and perished infront of my own eyes.
i cried and cried finding ways of searching for the answer of the question mark in my head.
i gave up, and i tell her this,
"up to you as long as you're happy with it. all of my dreams is gone. nothing for me, i truly love you so much and yet, you did this to me. how could you? why? why must you did this to me when someone is in love with you and ready to be in a relationship with you. you once said yes, we are going on to a relationship. and then you said no. what is this? why are you making your mind so fast? why? once you're hot and then you're cold? why? you're like a 2-faced person. i didnt make you angry neither did i make you mad. im in love with you. then you're making me like this. i did this because of you. not someone else. im a nobody for you. its useless for me to live with anger and hatred. i rather die for myself for you."

and she did not reply my message.
how would you feel if that happens to you?
do you feel useless for yourself after all that you did for her?
adeq, if you're reading this, i rather be with you back than her. seriously. i cant help it.
when im with you, i feel more relax than ever before and even calm than i was.
help me adeq. please. i cant do it anymore.
i cant.

episode 95 - patience is the key

okay let me see where should i start,
my working place is gone as smoothly,
as days goes by,
something has been missing this days
that is ....... love.
hahah.
without love which i should cherish the most is not really that comfortable.
then this days, a girl pops up, and i talked to her.
then it started well,
met her yesterday, and i tell you,
it is gorgeous to me but i dont know for you all is some typical girl which is natural
if you know what i mean.

i think there's something inside her that i wanna know much more about her.
if there's a chance for me, i think i should go ahead and settle down with her
if i could settle on with her,
soo.....................
i think that should be it for the post and im off to work already.

see ya peeps around.

episode 94 - working days on tuesday

hey, i've post out already.
its really over at camp.
and i appreciate for what my squadmate did with me.
all for one and one for all.
its really a great experience in camp.
well i did alot of bad things.
sigh.
well i must improve on my punctuality and others.
and now its the 2nd day of fasting month.
must fast the whole month now.
moving on with tasha.
and my recent ex gf,
to tell the truth i really love nadhirah alot than how she love me.
im really sincere about it.
and i dont have much about it.

well im just waiting for the moment of truth and thats it.
and poof, i got her.
hahah.
i wanna to continue the realtionship with her,
and i wanna to save lots and lots of money just to be with her.
and thats a promise.

episode 94 - countdown to NDP

cant wait already.
it is this sunday to my actual day. haha.
day by day, i think im going to be sick like this way. :)

i miss my godsister actually, and my friends.
and most of all, i miss school!

sigh.
school are much more better than NS.
sigh.

anyways, i have 1 year and 7 months left to serve NS.
see ya around deys.

episode 93 - NDP Preview

i would'nt know what going to happen later.
due to my lackness of sleep.
hahah.
must buy redbull for later to keep me awake.
soo, i must recall back.
i need to pay my debts that i owe man.
shit.

soo many money need to sacrifice.
sigh.
if i got one personal request that i really need.
and that's personal.
haha.

wish me the best of lucks for later.

episode 92 - NDP NE 3

Saturday, 25 July,
it was very tiring though, sigh.
the show was okay and im veryvery tired. phew.

luckily i got had the bus, when the NE show started, i think i saw my godsister.
and my sister at last got to go.
hahah.

okay thats all, i'm very tired.

episode 91 - replenished the law

hellohello!
hahaha.
nothing better to do. just updating my blog.
and here's todays event.

1. Wedding function

got up at 12pm in the afternoon,
then went to see Tasha the "jerk".
after that got to see the just married couples "like obvious!"
and they dress is nice!
and the place is kinda like gothic but its green and black.
the table placing is also reasonable for families eating together.
the pelamin, FOOOOOOO! is nice.
you should seen it,
but too bad, i dont have a camera phone.
i want to buy soon enough!
then go on to part 2

2. pick up daddy at airport

i got at the airport around 6.30 there. plus minus of course.
then waited for daddy to come home,
then ate a few junk food, at least i drank mineral water to replenish my throat.
daddy reached about 8, then went back home,
actually i'm not, and there's goes part 3

3. meet ida "my bestest friend ever!"

met her at ang mo kio,
hang out for awhile for exchanging the books.
read twilight then met jufri " best buddy of mine"
and laughter went on and on,
till its time to go back, and i reached home about,
3.45am.
tired. phew.

then i cant wait to meet my Nadhirah!
hahah.
till then i'll update again.

episode 91 - chaotic reaction

today went here and there just one stupid specs, a pair of t-shirt and one pathetic hat. hahah.
actually, its not that pathetic uh.
but i cant find the one that truly like the most.
about the specs was really not my luck to get that kind of specs whom people in the 80's do wear.
for me its the new it thingy while i know its been a long time already.
but who cares anyways.
my fashion, my rules of playing it.
no one will try to stop me.
hahah.

the next one, i want to aim, just paying my bills and updating my closet. that's the only thing that i reallyreally need.

at least i have clothes to wear. i think i wanna buy new shoes.
my shoes are getting much more water absorber when during rain.
hahah.
my friends are cool and there's a secret between it of who dislikes who and stuff.
and im truly sorry about what i did to godsis. i shouldnt have not did that in the first place.

and blablabla.
going hospital tomorrow and till then.

episode 90 - updating la.

the littlest things in life no matter what you get or what you deserve,
its just a matter of what you can take it.

its like playing chess,
you win, you get nothing,
you lose, is also the same,
but the most important is,
you enjoyed the game no matter what the results are.

in relationship especially,
we need to give and take and there's time to take a time off between the both of it.

well, im not in the relationship actually,
but i get feedback by others and there's a critic and hypocrite outside as well.
and trying to ruin others.
well, im trying to tell you all is this,
try not to blame others for nothing but inside of yourself is what you're blaming at.
understand what i meant?

making a laughter, jokes and anything that can make people smile and chat about,
is what makes people heart melts in the inside.
and making the chemistry if love much more powerful than before.

till then take care.
love you guys!

episode 89 - this was the pic tooked from Nee Soon Camp.

hey guys!

this was the pictures was took from the Nee Soon Camp. haha.
and i was ashamed that i looked that fierce.
nahh! who cares anyways.
here's are the pictures.

have fun yaww!





thats all. :)

episode 88 - Marina Training

it is ouch, ouch and ouch.
aku ada melecet la siots.
sakit sey.
i cant walk properly when im on my way back home.
hahah.
its kinda funny when i walk like a grandfather wearing a police uniform.
hahah.

overall, it was okay.
lucky for us.
i feel so proud for having this opportunity.
:)
and adeq, i will try my very best to get the tickets.
i promise. just for you.
:)

episode 87 - NDP la oii!

this week till 9 August.
and my adeq angkat is missing me. aww, soo sweet of her.
sorry i cant on this saturday. i got my NDP training sey.
ajak salah timing. wish i could join you on this sat.
next time okay?

call me tau. then later i'll decide when i can.
i got training at marina somemore.
soo the leceh.
sigh.

jangan lupa tau!

episode 86 - LTL

today is the best.
but sad to say, it is quite fucked up.
and i learned how to long boarding.
its fun!
yeah. extreme.
and i had a few falls but i did make it to master and feel the speed downhill.
was quite fucking fast.

the fucked up thing is my friend lost his wallet and inside had his gf ic.
soo sad.
and my friend fell extremely to the ground and broke his jack for earpiece into two.
was quite pissed off and sad to see his jack broke into two.

okay at least im fucking right now.
haha.
later going to sembawang for soccer.
and this time my old peeps wanna talk to me.
i feel fucking bad sey.
soo guilty and sometimes i feel like im left alone.
at least i had the chance to talk to them.

and i wanna have a life in the future as a skater.
but see if my luck has it.

okay till then.
btw, to adeqq, anything just call.
im there ready to pick it up.
haha.

tooodles~

episode 85 - NDP!

hey!
i got into the squad and it was tiring the training.
my hand aches alot when i realease that firearms. fucking hell.
hahah.
soo, about tasha..
broke off and im free!

saving money for the outing.
and adeqq!
can change it on sunday?
i got training on saturdays lahs.
sorry.
ask your mum quick!
or i'll ask it for you.
can can can?
haha.

okay im just crapping myself up.
tired.
i wanna sleep right now.
soo, yeah.
tomorrow got soccer and stuff.
there's alot of things i wanna do tomorrow.
no going out with tasha anymore.
haha.
she used my money for fuck.
heck care of that bitch.
what for i wanna go for her anyway.

i wanna live my own life and live it in my own way.
haha. :]

okayokay
i will update soon enough.

P/S : adeqq! contact this number. 81389096.
call me asap when you read this. thanks.
:]

episode 84 - life sucks desperately saying

sigh, always gf makes me mad.
got a guy, wants more.
isnt she became more greedier and being unfair.
what she did is all the best, but for me, is unfair because why?
she just keeps blaming me that i cant do this and that.
wtf! then what for i want to become her bf if i cant do nothing except giving her spending my own sweating of money.
like for fuck right?
she always keeps me tension, keeps me annoyed and irrits, even my money hasnt given yet.
this time i wanna go out, kirim salam sama dia sudah.
want this and that? go find someone that wants you so badly.

being a good boyfriend is reallyreally hard job.
must do this and that.
i really must find a better person that suits me.
but how? is really hard and very choosy for me.
i got to pass criteria for my mom thats why.

soo, till then and i cant wait to meet Naddy!
hahah!
till then see ya soon enough!

episode 83 - bleah~

well, yesterday wasnt great enough because tasha is pulling me around,
here and there like usual.
quite fed up though.
haha.
i feel soo moody this days i dont know why.

sooo, next week i got my shooting lessons coming up.
and i got NDP training which im being forced in.

then i also got fucked up. wah~ soort siot.
later going out with tasha again seeing JAMJAM ALI!
i miss him though.
he is a nice guy to hang out with chat. haha.
well, thats all of it.
hope to see ya around. :]

and one last thing before i end it,
tasha may become a bastard one day.

episode 82 - late updating.

soo, long time never updating.

im soo sorry about nadd.
sorry i didnt give you anything. i will try to reach you up soon.
but since you having a peaceful life, i will not touch you anymore.
but all i can do is just wish you a happy life ahead.
hope nothing can stop between you and bf. :]

soo, NS time is here already.
got to NDP squad.
yeah.
then later i will update you more.
not enough time to blogg.
sorry for the inconvenience. :]

episode 81 - Birthdays and other stuff as well :]

hey..
my birthday just flew pass on 6th of march.
then celebrate it with tasha. it was fun.
i mean damn "FUN".
can say uh abit if you're understanding what i meant.

soo, yeah.. nothing happen much.. no one gave me presents so far. excepts giving me a headache and problems. thanks uh ehk korang :]

then planning to meet my lil godsister, badly, didnt came up as plan. Lol.
just went stupid window shopping here and there took pictures everywhere.
ohh yah!

the next day, was KonfusionZ's dance performance for Anti-drug dance off.
it was cool, and yet tasha still scolding me just watching other girls dancing..
i was like.. WTH! then nevermind, need to be patience, thats all.
and NADD! i have no money yet, but i will buy you presents soon after i book out of my NS :]]

then, after the dance off, met JamJam Ali, then meeting his friends..
i know some of them but not all. :]
soo, yeah..
their hair was soo super scene kids.
haha.
and met hidzir for the live one time :]
then after that went home meeting my brother and his friends planning to go jamming..
too bad, another problem came out.
walio!
rabak ke pers.
then blah blah blah..
then meeting tasha's second boyfriend. :]
haha.. kecoh sia si jubo tu!
i was like nothing happen and blah blah.
wah!
nasib aku tak ikot die gi sembawang park.
atau takde jauh sia.
sape mau layan!

back on 6th march,
shasha's boyfriend, Shah, treat me go arcade,
well, it is hard to say that he is kinda friendly and nice, except for his attitude.
soo far kinda fun. :]
nice meeting Shah, Hidzir, Faz, Naz, Ehsan, Acip and Fiq :]

that's all..
soo, im going in soon to serve my NS..
sorry if i did not update you enough. :]
thank you for your co-operation.

byebye.
see ya around :]

episode 80 - blah. blah. bleah. :]

in life there's alot of challenges like obvious..
you can get what you earn..
but if you're not earning, nothing is possible.
seriously..
i miss my loved ones..
i miss my old times when we had fun together..
what to do.. life must move on..
and Nadhirah..
You're forgiven..
dont worry..
im fine..
and i promised you that we're going to be closer than other siblings.. :]
and thanks for all you've done with me..
and thanks for being my girlfriend even though it was awhile.. :]
i really appreciate of what you've done with me..
and im glad that i could help you.. :]
and im sorry that i couldn't go out on V's day.

did you know that i cried the whole day just because i cant go out with you.
haha..
very weird right.. i know..
:]

soo, everything's stabilizing now...
i hope this would not end...
and i almost forgot...
Nadhirah.. thanks for complimenting me. :]
i really do appreciate all the sayings. :] and i understand..

see ya around peeps. :]

episode 79 - the worst feeling of my life..

well, it started well when i was woke up at my friend's house..
message gf.. then it was like happen to quickly..
then it was like everything gone, tasha got a new boyfriend..
nadhirah(my recent one) love another guy..

then my suppose closest clan, didnt inform me of what happening..
what am i suppose to be with you all..
soo fucked up you know that..
fucking MLN bastards..
what am i to you all!

and the most important thing of all..
i need to carry on without anyone with my side..
and im too scared to go for serious relationship..
cant go on with this life actually..
i need to depend on myself..
just a few weeks to go,
then it was our first month..
then it is gone forever..
its not your fault..
its mine.

and i wanna celebrate it on my own..
thanks all of you for making me proud of myself as a sore loser.
thank you.. so much appreciate it..

episode 78 - payday

at last the day is here.
woke up around 10am.
haha.
because of someone called.
haha.
then after that i called my manager to confirm for my payday is today.
haha.
happy nyer aku. :]
muke ada senyum.
haha.

then thursday meeting gf.
then make up, snog and snog all the way.
haha.
kidding2 jek.
i've learnt more than words and im yours already.
yeahyeah.
i've yet to learn more.
haha.

episode 77 - boredom as per usual.

well today like usual nothing much to do..
gf went to school and studying while i sitting at home didnt go to work. soo, yeah.
because of my pay has been postponed,
i cant go on my valentine's day and even to work..
then it was like whatever and whatever.
soo, today can predict it is a rainy weather. :]

to be truthful to my gf..
this is a short message.
"B, im sorry that i've made you mad and stressed. I'm really am. I wont talk about a girl and continue life with you. The misery in head is all gone and passed it on to you already. :]
I hope this is a new start for us okay baby?"

to move or not to move, its already moved and not to turn back time or nothing..
mistakes that everyone did in the past and the present could be corrected..
for whatever we do or need to be shared, communication is the important thing.
:]

i love nadhirah aqilah so much. :]

episode 76 - valentine's day

valentine's day is today.
gf going out with her friends today while my fucking manager give my pay postponed till next tuesday on the 17th.
im soo felt sorry for gf sey.
she was so excited of meeting me today..
but i cant make it.
i try make it up to you okay? i promise. :]
and when i checked my tagbox..so many people tagging me.
this time i've privated my blog..
soo no one can see or read my blog.
soo sickening this people.
they say to me no life..
well, you are also..
and nadhirah, thanks for backing me up.
i owe you big time :]

well up to today feeling like a prisoner at home. :]
nothing better to do just play games and more boredom. :]
okay that's all for today.

and baby, have a fun time with your friends. :]
im sorry that i cant be with you on this very special day. :]

episode 75 - blablabla..

im a total dumbass to be frankly speaking.
cant talk much..
cause i want to lose my stress on this friday,
maybe im going alone or something..
im not going back home either.
haha.

my mum was mad at me...
skit2 tak boleh kene. macam sial.
then the other one is like cant give and take..
then another was like fuck says that im off today.
cheebai..
spent time alone i think for this few days.
relax and chilling is what i do till friday.
that's all..
:]

episode 74 - sick..haha.

yesterday..
prepaid went low.. like what the hell.
then at last just top up 18 bucks only.
my pay is on friday the 13th.
sedih ke per.
but nevermind.. i hope that gf can go out on valentine's day.
:]
you know what..
i hate this girl since she did something to me.
i was seriously fed up, upset, heartbroken, mad and even my ego is starting to react up.
i did not want to show it infront of gf..
instead i did it here instead.
if i show it to gf..
nanti die start uh membebel jek all the way.
haha.

the scene is always keep repeating and repeating inside my head.
why i cant always forget about the thing i always hate.
i feel so damn mad till i wanna kill that daughter of a bitch.
but i cant..
you know why?
i tell myslef to remain calm and just pray to god it will be okay.
and let the forgotten will gone.
but when i daydreaming about another thing,
it will be that particular scene of that girl did that to me.
i wish that i would never be with her or even better dont even knew her in the 1st damn place.
i feel regretting about having that girl in my life.
can say she is the one that make me miserable in each and every moment.
she is so stubborn like you wanna slap her the face real tight.
why is she soo daring while im not..
i just wanna kill her!
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!
thanks uh ehk!
you make me really miserable.
cakap orang jek tahu..
kau pkir kau besar ehk?
macam pantat kau nye tepi!
da macam sundal!
kau memang dasar tak sedar kan diri.
aku rase time kau ngan matair kau pun aku rase confirm skejap.
da satu tak cukup satu.
at least aku tahu limit aku and aku tahu macam nak solve probs kalau dalam relationship.
macam kau!
smue nak take time.
semue nyer nak tolong even though aku tak suke tu laki.
semue laki yang kau kenal smue macam sundal lah!
macam kau jugak!
geram nye aku..
pasal kau aku rase macam nak bunuh diri aku sendiri kau tau tak?!

kirim salam uh kalau kau nak call ke atau message.
limit2 aku tak akan layan kau nyer.
aku da malas nak layan kau..
waste prepaid aku ngan time aku jek ngan kau.

episode 73 - funny and money incident

errr...
today ehk?
hmmm, let me recall it back..
okayokay.
its all started at 12pm and above..
where got this one auntie wearing a pink shirt...
and a flower type shawl..
was soo damn kiasu one.
always ask here and there.
then she flew off.
that's one.

the other one..
my gf. haha.
i understand what you're facing now.
im sorry that i didnt suppose to know that i should messaging you.
i truly thought that you need to be alone.
haha.
im sorry b.
:]
thats two...

then the other thing is got 2 combo's at once.
haha.
got this one person drop down a 10bucks note on the floor and quickly pick up..
and try to find the person...
then dont know, i put the money inside my pocket.
haha.
:]
then got this one uncle asking...
"why is my new ez-link card cant be used for Macdonald's?"
i just wanted to laugh!
hahaha.
then my colleague tell him that it can be used till 2nd quarter of 2009.
haha.
then he left..
i laughed the whole way.
b, if you're reading this..
you surely wanna be there.
haha.

then tomorrow meeting gf.
yeahyeah.
:]
i also dont know why im behaving like a monkey this days.
haha.
as i said..
then after that...
went home...
make jokes with my friends then went back sweet home.
haha.
finish...
end of the story .
:]

episode 72 - working days..

feeling fresh as usual.
then after reading babystar's blog,
feeling like im a total dumbass because of shakespear's drama.
haha.
okayokay.
i will feel relax and calm always okay?
:]
err, just now went to my aunt's house and eat when my break time is only 1 hour.
haha.
it suppose to be 3.30pm till 4.30 pm.
haha.
then i went to 6 pm back to work.
haha.
wah!
dear, i feel sorry that your grandpa's is sick,
well tell him this,
get well soon!
:]

episode 71 - at orchard's tragedy

i woke up soo damn early just to talk to my wifey.
haha.
like crazy right?
haha.
then then, talk to gf for awhile cause am working at orchard.
soon, after that, fought with her..
i was soo damn guilty after it.
that time was working time.
i was so nervous and scared.
till i dont know what to do.
i just talked to them, and and i am tired.
sigh.
then after that, sat at khatib alone.
drink and smoke that's all i do.

and got this one guy was story-ing about his life and wants money.
he was like no shame of person begging for money and wants my ez-link.
whatever it is, i was soo damn stupid to give him all the money that i had.
soo stupid sia me.
arghhh!
nevermind.
then i was like going-to-cry sey.
haha.
then after a few while, i went back and eat then blog.
then after awhile, i try text gf.. and at last she message me back.
then chatted awhile then i encourage her to study smart :]
i love you baby.
anything call taws.
:]
i will always love you and this is a promise. :]
thats all for tonight and am going to sleep now.
tomorrow will be doing nothing day for me.

and have a nice day.

ilovenadhirah:]

episode 70 - tiring day of all. haha.

yesterday, was soo hyped up and dont know where i wanna go.
haha.
firstly, went to pick up my baby.. then i was playing dont know where to go.
then at last got a seat at around my cousin's house.
then chatted and chatted.
mostly she was the one all the way talking while im all the way listening.
was fun listening to her.
then she smokes eventually that she said that she's didnt smoke for 1 week already.
poor her.
at least she's did not smoke contrabands, hurr.
macam malu uh.
haha.
then i just smoke uh.
haha.

then meet my friend at boon lay then go khatib then go yishun.
soo damn tired sia.
wah!
got home at 3 am plus.
got home eat, then sleep.
that's all.

episode 69 - the day has come! haha

lately, im doing a fresh for myself.
my ex, tasha is also doing it.
soo, it will be finally over after all the misunderstooding and misery craps having this and that.
no more tired, sadness, dissapointment.
now? haha.
hoping my hunny will be more loving than her.
and i will have high hopes that we can get this quite a longer and everlasting relationship.
and as far as i know her..
she's sweet, elegance, and what else could i wanted?
she is all i want. haha. if you're reading this post..
message me! you are always be my baby and i promise to you that i wont let you go.
you are my love bug and its rare to have you in my life.

what i felt in this life today that, i feel more freshed and makes me feel that she is the one
that i've been waiting for along time.
well, its just another 2 perfect hours to go.
yeahyeah.
cant wait to see her.
okayokay stop it sey ilyas.
haha.
see ya baby.

naddeeyas :]

episode 68 - a fresh start

the 1 year 3 months has at last came to an end.
all the misery business has gone and perished.
and the waiting has really came true.
i am happy now.
cause the last time, i tried to ask her.
she said she need to think of it first.
well, now at last i got it.
yeah. :]

and now, i need to get all the things back into proper position now.
now feeling all alone at first.. soo, yeah.
tomorrow seeing her!
woohoo!
haha.
fun or what.
haha.
okayokay now i cant wait.
seeing her for the first time.. i mean is like the 3rd time already.
haha.
okay best.
i hope tomorrow going smoothly.
haha. best or what.
:]
okayokay.
off to shower!
haha.
see ya tomorrow baby.
:]

episode 67 - 240109

today suppose to go khedir's birthday,
but instead i went out with tasha's sister.
went drinking at the same time, prank the K-wads.
one's name Fadlie, he's from voguelicious crew,
the other is Nec, that always nec..
then the other one's is Al.
haha.
they all are kinda handsome though, but to sad, they all are k-wads.
haha.
and did you know that after i got home, Nec called me, and i was soo, damn panic.
then i tried to calm down myself and then i said everything that i could.
then put down the phone and then text blinky.
haha.
and everything's over with tasha.
because of she, i cried like hell.
and thanks for the heartbroken.
because of her, i've been paranoid.
that's why.

that's all.

episode 66 - live a lie

on the 20th January,
it was tasha's birthday.
she asked me to tag along,
soo i did.

it was quite boring though.
we ate Swensen's at Causeway Point, then went to Toa Payoh
hang out with them while her mother went to meet her new husband.
turns to be okayokay uh.
nothing better to do.
i got no smoke.
wish i had one pack of it.
haiz.
nevermind.
well, starting anew now.
well, not quite seriously.
just one boring blog post
and i hope the other one is much more worse.

episode 65 - ... speechless.

...
started day like shit.
nothing to eat except for this cold pancake that mom bought yesterday.
soo, yeah.
i hate this life.
sigh.
my life always been miserable.
im going to drink alone near dont where i wanna be.
no one can disturb me. its better for me alone.

i hate it ot be this way.
haiz.
well, i think there's no one will ever going to be mine.
nevermind. like leqiu said.
i must wait. :]

episode 64 - same old same old.

im truly sorry.
i didnt mean to said that to you.
i didnt know that you have your problems.
i really regret that i said that to you.
i dont to end it like this.
you are my life saviour.
my guardian angel infact.
when you laugh, i feel so delighted.
when you speak, im feel excited.
please baby dont go.
i need you right now.
i wanna talk things out.
please let me talk to you.
i really really wanna talk to you.
please.
i wanna need your help.
there's no one except your love that you showered me.
please.
i need you.
give me one final chance, and i swear i wont break it for the sake of you.
i promise.

episode 63 - same day same problems

it started off fine.
and the next thing i know it began to feel bad.
i feel bad to myself.
i feel bad to anything.
im sorry shee, im sorry MLN, im sorry ameera and im sorry tasha.
im a no use of a person to live on.
imagine that i dont exist in this world anymore.
seriously.
just imagine.. or even worse.. just pretend that i dont know any of you guys.

i cant do this anymore.
i just cant.
my hopes are gone to drain as it should.
it should be.
im a nobody now.
i just go to work each and everyday.
seriously.
when i see anybody whom i used to knew.
i will be very not knowing you all.
and thanks for all of your rejections and acceptions.
bye you all.
this is the last post that im gonna give you all.
to say my last goodbye.
i will be ending my life soon.
i will never be exist in this world now.
bye.

episode 62 - just fucked up

i just hate yesterday and today also.
just cant be bothered.
you know what?
yesterday tasha told me that i'm not responsible for anything.
yes of course im not responsible per.
coz we're over already.
and we're friends.
just plain friends.
and that way i dont even bothered seeing her ever again.
not a single one of it.
she's such an asshole.
everything she put the blame on me.
what the hell.
fuck her.
nevermind.
i will burn her pictures and never will be exist in my life again.
bye tasha you fucking miserable life goner.

episode 61 - 9 Jan 2009

hey...
today was soo fucked up and yesterday's one.
i hate being a fucking sore loser and cant be independent and im soo forgetful about things.
haiz.
semalam peh nyer menyesal siot tengok muke sundal tu.
haiz.
skit2 ungkit kan alik pasal yang dulu.
itu kau cakap da berubah.
konek uh lu.
makin lame makin mengarut siot.
haiz.
tadi da suppose to be meeting my darling and thanks to tazzy, THANKS EHK MINAH!
pasal kau aku da dapat jumpe darling aku tau tak.
nasib besok aku da dapat appointment ngan die.
haiz.

okay thats it.

episode 60 - the day that should be ended a long time ago.

a good day has started off.
a new year to start afresh.
let the past be the past.
and keep moving forward.
i have no time for relationship for few months.
i want to enjoy the whole of my life be with friends and family.
:] its been great and work still sucks like usual.
i havent sold anything yet. like WTH!

i want to buy elements clothes and shoes. even their bags.
i love ELEMENTS~!
now my dreams has been perished because of the person you know who.
i dont want to think about her anymore.
i want to live up my own life whether its hard or easy,
i need to go through life.

okay byesbyes.
thats all for today.