episode 103 - totally blurr..

hey bloggers out there.
today woke up at 6.30pm i guess.
hahah. long right i know.
i slept yesterday morning around 2am.
my eyes are totally closed since i know that i closed door for my brother.
then, i totally knock out.
then woke up at that time.

then guess what?
my gf asked me for break up.
then i didnt layan her for a quite some time.
then she said that she was admitted to hospital again.
and this time she told me earlier.
soo, later i'll be meeting her.

soo yeah.
till next time.

episode 102 - bored, bored and bored.

yesterday, damn tired. sigh.
wore off my energy till today.
damn tired.

then it was most fucked up day.
sigh.
i waited for my friends till 11.47pm.
just to buy cigarettes and guess what? they didnt tell me that they were
going to play left 2 dead.
thanks uh eh.
waited for nothing.

then i went back from emotionally.
thanks for hurting my feelings alot.
amalkan selalu.

okay that's it.
i dont want to contact to them anymore.
seriously.
not even my gf.

bye.
till then.

episode 101 - i giving it up already. cant take it anymore.

as you can see,
my tagged doesnt have my gf's tagged.
soo, i think she doesnt have feelings for me anymore.
what the hell.
just wasting of time when being with her.
it is rough times now.
everytime it happens to me.
for fuck.
urgh!
i hate it so much sey..
why cant i have the best of both worlds.
what more cant i do that y'all can do much more better than me.
i admit i dont do my job that much as a boyfriend.
what do you wanna expect for me anyways?

i cant do this and that.
sigh.
i wish nadhirah was beside me.
i need a shoulder to cry on.
my family turned down on me.
i cant do anything now.
just be it then.
i dont have a choice.
goodbye everyone.
hope that nadhirah could call me at this time.
NADHIRAH!!!! where are you?!
i need you now.

episode 100 - the century has begun

soo, it will be tiring for the next week schedule.
hahah.
hmm, i dont know what to say anymore.
even festive season also i cant celebrate. only at night. sigh.
but at least got pay right i know.
i dont know when will it be.
to adeq, i miss you. i hope you can meet me on friday.
i wanna hug you alot.

episode 99 - the hundredth is coming already.

hello bloggers out there!
nahh nevermind, while there's 3 linkies that wanna see my blog. haha.
arent i clever?
no spammers, no anonymous, no nicknames.
gerek ke pe.
adek i missing you already.
i wanted to ask you something. but whether to wait for her call is quite tiring.
but at least she called. everytime i hear her voice,
fuhh naik cair.
hahah.
and btw, err, my gf nya messaging is not of what i could understand actually.
seriously. i cant understand a word that she saying.
sigh.

okayokay got to go now.
haha.
sleepy la siols.

nightnight everybody.
i love you guys~
and to adeq - muaks!

episode 98 - damn tiring day ever!

as you can see of what happening today and yesterday is combined into one tiring night.
my life is with her is totally change alot.
she changed alot and much more better than last time i knew her before i go on with her.
and thats not the topic for this post actually. hahah.

the real thing is, i was supposed to be waking up at 9am at my friend's usual meet up,
then i woke up at 12pm instead. haha. long sia.
then went put at around 1pm plus like that. da sampai rumah my friend's aunt,
went painting the house.
since the time when we started at 2pm,
it ended at 7pm. that was long actually. nasib kita habis cepat.
thennnnnnnnnnnn, my friend need me to help him go kallang and help to move things to her real mother's new house.
i thought it was less than i thought,
and when i arrived at there, WALIAOWEI!
banyak ke pe barang nak kena angkat!

then i help and move,
we started at 9pm and ended at 5.16am.
it was long, i know.
when i was helping moving things,
i keep wondering what my gf is doing.
i love her alot.
heheh.

okay thats it. im tired and going to bed already,
see ya,

P/S: i love my gf, but i love my nadhirah alot more than her.
shhh! better dont tell her this. hee :)

episode 97 - things changed all of a sudden

a new chapter begins here.
as i talk to her about her attitude and how she behaves,
she heard of what i am saying to her to change and be more patience,
yes i do love her soo much,
and somethings i just cant accept.
soo yeah.

soo, im having a relationship with her already. 10/09/09 at 8.34pm,
i think that should be the time,
hahah.
moving on, tasha is also moving on eventhough,
soo yeah,
hope for the brightest future ahead.
soo long friends.

episode 96 - straight to your throat

soo, nothing much to say.
but im sharing my deceived story.
after i shared my story, please explain how it feels.

the story goes likes this,
i love this girl soo damn much, even i sacrificed everything even my cigarettes that i smoke.
i cut down so much till it took 1 stick per day and all is just for her.
i sacrifice each every single detail to cherish her, making her laugh,
and she is developing love for me.

at first i thought,
i think that i could really get her.
but think twice ilyas,
as days goes by, that beautiful flower could eat you alive, and guess what?
she started changing her attitude,
she starting to make me feel hatred to her,
i didnt gave up, even though i fought hard with my feelings.
day and night goes by,
i really didnt gave up hope and my dreams just to be with her,
then yesterday, around 2119hrs.
i was playing game at my cousins PSP.
then she told me that i can be with her only on a condition,
1. Must be home before midnight
2. Cigarettes must be at least 1 stick/day.
3. Must be cherish with her day and night and be able to keep her accompany as in make her entertain,

all of that i could do it just for her.
i said okay, i can manage that without any hesitation,
then, she said, why not be friends instead?
i was like so dumb-founded sey,
all of that for nothing,
her "i love you baby" is nothing for me.
none of the meaning is in that category.

and all hope and dreams is gone and perished infront of my own eyes.
i cried and cried finding ways of searching for the answer of the question mark in my head.
i gave up, and i tell her this,
"up to you as long as you're happy with it. all of my dreams is gone. nothing for me, i truly love you so much and yet, you did this to me. how could you? why? why must you did this to me when someone is in love with you and ready to be in a relationship with you. you once said yes, we are going on to a relationship. and then you said no. what is this? why are you making your mind so fast? why? once you're hot and then you're cold? why? you're like a 2-faced person. i didnt make you angry neither did i make you mad. im in love with you. then you're making me like this. i did this because of you. not someone else. im a nobody for you. its useless for me to live with anger and hatred. i rather die for myself for you."

and she did not reply my message.
how would you feel if that happens to you?
do you feel useless for yourself after all that you did for her?
adeq, if you're reading this, i rather be with you back than her. seriously. i cant help it.
when im with you, i feel more relax than ever before and even calm than i was.
help me adeq. please. i cant do it anymore.
i cant.

episode 95 - patience is the key

okay let me see where should i start,
my working place is gone as smoothly,
as days goes by,
something has been missing this days
that is ....... love.
hahah.
without love which i should cherish the most is not really that comfortable.
then this days, a girl pops up, and i talked to her.
then it started well,
met her yesterday, and i tell you,
it is gorgeous to me but i dont know for you all is some typical girl which is natural
if you know what i mean.

i think there's something inside her that i wanna know much more about her.
if there's a chance for me, i think i should go ahead and settle down with her
if i could settle on with her,
soo.....................
i think that should be it for the post and im off to work already.

see ya peeps around.