episode 115 - memories.

i miss the times when im with you,
since you've move on already,
its hard to replace your love.
seriously,
it'll take time for me to move on.

i want to find a girl like you is difficult.
i just dont know why.
sigh.
too much to think.

its better that i keep quiet and never do anything and just let it come to me.
i think that will be much more better.
i cant win bella's heart already.
its really hard. and it is challenging.
to win someone's heart, is really you need the techniques.
i think my techniques are common already.
just being me and only me.
thats it.

episode 114 - eyes tells it all.

your eyes is the sweetest things that i see.
my heart tells me to go for you.
but i insisted to do so.

what i can say is,
there's nothing to hide anymore.
i cant show my feelings towards her except accepting for being friends only.
why cant you give me one chance to prove that im better than no one else you met.
i know that i can give you happiness and all,
i can be your everything except for one thing,
i dont know what that one thing is,
but i know there's a story why i expressing it out right to this post.
i really am prepared for your love.
all i want is a healthy long term relationship with you.

but there's another twist,
who is that you?
that's for me to find it out.
all is fate to bring and a little bit of faith.

to all, forgive my mistakes.

episode 113 - nothing to say to you since we met.

since the first day,
i didnt talk to you cause your eyes were so beautiful to look at,
your voice is sweetest that i heard then i ever hear.

things recall each and everytime i look at you.
my eyes cant resist looking at you each and everytime.
i just cant dont know why.
when i told you that i loved you,
i think it is too early to say.

i think it is the wrong time for me to confess.
maybe its not my day to win your heart that time.
and i hope to win it some other day.
im really sorry to confess too early.
i really am.
im soo sooo sorry.

episode 112 - wrong move at wrong time, ilyas.

today, im having a total bad day.
then i broke down, and keep myself quiet.
i just cant stand my supervisor of mine.
just fuck him to hell.

then, my biggest mistake of all,
i admitted to this girl that i loved her,
she scolded me like hell.

life's seriously is unfair.
im confused.
i dont have a proper love since the one that i loved the most left me.
i really very depress about it.
i really love her soo much till i sacrifice alot of things for her.
i dont know who to love.
i scared that i make a wrong choice.

can someone help just give me trust, love and sincerity.
just at least give me one perfect soul to help through this all.
please help me.

episode 111 - the times i wasted alot.

the times that i wasted alot is i started to be 17 years of life.
i really hate my life alot.
due to something or someone.
it really hurts when you know that person you loved the most,
has someone else she loved,
while she doesnt know that she loved the most,
is someone could busted her the most while,
you loved her the most she dont wanna take.

why always that way it turned out.
why that person is soo stupid to fall the one she loved the most,
is someone could make her feel bad and heart-broken again.
sometimes these people dont think what they do,
while some people can think straight and doesnt regret in his or her life.

if you get what i mean,
then you must know how i feel towards you.
i really love you and truly want to keep till my last breath.
if really i can do that,
you'll never regret what you take in life.

episode 110 - East Coast Outing.

On my East Coast outing,
it started well but went the time has come to fucked up,
it is really there.
For me and my buddy, Afif, the night wasnt the night we expected for,
my long gone loved one not like interested in me anymore,
Afif's going-to-be girlfriend was there and guess what,
He found that his best brother just backstab him and take the girl away in one sight.
I find it very awful to see what's happening to him,
for his behavior, it is has the same of what i did last year.

Full of miseries, pain, depression and regret-tion,
Life must goes on,
what can we do anyways,
this is Allah's test,
we can survive either way to succeed in life.
life can be unfair and fair at the same time,
with Positive thinking,
we'll succeed in life no matter what happens.
this time of period i think its better for me to have a girlfriend.
i think the duration is not period i guess,
i think its forever i wont have a gf,
i will wait the one whom i loved the most,
and be with her then i'll be happy throughout,
even though it takes me for years.

episode 109 - there's always a room for a change

in this world,
there's always one and only one that never replace the one you really love.
when this someone happens to melt your heart,
try not to let it go or go to waste,
you will regret and ends as a hopeless person and stressful.
and will always be thinking what you've done.

this feelings you actually feeling is,
you think it is really it,
but actually,
it is only the beginning.
you will feel this feelings when you actually with that person for a very long time.

when you be with this lifetime partner,
cherish it and always be happy.
you'll never forget the memories that you will always be with her.

i got a message to this someone whom its worth to wait,
i will never end my love to you till i have my last breath.
i will always wait for you till the very end.
and i will always wait for you even though it skip to my next life.

episode 108 - waiting for confirmation

i'm using my friend's lappy and updating my blog while i can.

not much to tell actually.

later today i got work and luckily not much things to do at work actually.

i think later i will going back and then bath, aand straight to work.

very troublesome you know.

okay about this confirmation thingy,

i think im not sure that i can get a girlfriend,

i think my mojo of getting a girlfriend has lost to someone special i think.

sigh.

why is this happening to me?

why me? why now?

its been a long time since my relationship didnt turn out well.

it lasted for 2 years and yet it didnt turn out that well.

i feel very sad about it.

to be frank, i really miss her alot.

i think she would likely missing her boyfriend instead of me.

my confidence has lost since i broke up with her.

i dont think this girl will accept my request.

i think that should be it.

till then,

i will update you again.

P/S: i really love you no matter what. no person in this world will ever replace your love.

episode 107 - nothing to else to talk.

dear bloggers out there,
nothing to write actually, just my life and bore life,
well, there's alot of nametags to pass around and to send to.

okay about my love story,
it ends like 4 months ago.
life such a bore ever since.
no love, no life partner,
if finding one, confirm kena busted one.
like usual.
just patience and the answer of who i will go with will come.
but there's confirm alot of time left.
go dating with some random persons,
only for once or two.
thats all.

okay for next month,
there will be alot of events coming up.
christmas also will be going on.

okay thats all for tonight.
update ya soon enough.

till then.

episode 106 - since the day we last talk.

well, you kept quiet since the we last talk on the phone.
you didnt even pay me up and just silence.
due to her boyfriend, she kept quiet on me?
just because of that?
never inform then its okay.
i will remember.
i dont care either.
sigh. who am i to you anyways?
do you remember who help you alot?
sacrifices his money just to give you to the prom, bills, and even things for yourself?
and this is what i get in return?
am i like a toy for you to play around?

sigh. nadhirah, nadhirah.
dont tell me what's wrong.
your boyfriend is just over-possessing you.
thats all.

till then,
ilyas.