These past few days have not been kind as I still recuperating all the moments and struggles within my mind and body. I am still healing from what actions I did not only by my ex-wife, but also by past exes. I reflected back on the things my actions, words, and even body language. I never knew that it would impact throughout my 35 years of life. Its good that I had this wake-up call in this point of life.
The friend that I cut off, and the ones that I made now, it's totally crazy on how they think and perspective. So as to my learning curve on this mental health. What I know it's literally just the tip of the iceberg. I have yet to explore what there's to a someone's mind. It is crazy to know and to explore the minds of clever and dumb people. Some are just don't bother to learn, some know but refuse to change and some are just willing to adapt. From where I am, I have a long way to go.
And for the first few weeks of being separated, it is not easy, as I have to do this on my own cause I don't have proper friends to guide or even just be present on where I was. I was in a deep shit. There's no light. But I thank and appreciate on the higher deity for everything that I have been blessed and helped and guide the way I was suppose to go. I will make use of this time to be a better person for me.
I know I will not love anyone or even think of doing the work. I love where I am now and just giving the love that deserves the love I give. I need to go therapy one day that is for sure. Especially to get myself diagnose what's going inside my brain. Let's do this shit and whatever it is okay and everything will be fine.
I miss my ex-wife that is for sure. I regulate by knowing that it is okay to miss someone, especially the feeling. And it is going to be from time to time. It is okay man. It is just a feeling. I hope she is coping fine with everything that I did. I know it is catastrophic, I am fixing what I did.
I breaking the habit to lead a better life.
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